How we deal with suffering sucks – and here’s why
Our attitude to suffering is in dire need of fixing.
On the one hand, our success-focused society suppresses private suffering – crises are meant to make us stronger, and we’re supposed to face up to them with resilience, in order to keep achieving in all areas. On the other hand, media and social networks increasingly show ‘suffering light’: the kind you can digest easily, and simply wipe away like a tear. Meanwhile, profound experiences and emotions are trivialised, and sufferers find themselves more and more marginalised. If you suffer for too long, it feels like you’re a loser, a failure.
But suffering is part of life. Pathei mathos is what they called it in Ancient Greece: ‘Learning from pain.’
Psychotherapist and lecturer Nady Mirian has taken this as her starting point for “Suffering”, speaking to people from all walks of life who have overcome times of pain and grief. We all experience sadness and suffering differently, which is why it’s important that we integrate them into our lives in our own, healthy way – thoughtfully and openly, without taboos, without shame.
An inspiring and thoughtful call to set aside efficiency and self-optimisation, and reclaim our right to suffer.
• For readers of Eva Illouz, Megan Davies, Rob Delaney and Katherine May